isaiah 6.

So, Isaiah 6 has always been one of my favorite passages. Isaiah just portrays an amazing picture of worship and brokenness. His confession is convicting as he exemplifies that we must come before God with clean hands and a pure heart. As He sees the holiness of God, he realizes his sin and comes before God with a repentant heart. God in His forgiveness and grace tells Isaiah his guilt is taken away and his sin is atoned for. It’s just so incredible how a holy God accepts filth like us. It should be humbling and it should break us. Although in this lifetime we will never understand or see the full glory of God and his holiness, Isaiah attempts to vividly describe his vision of the throne room of God. He describes the reaction of the angels to the presence of God. They cry out, not just “Holy,” but “Holy, holy, holy,” to emphasize the perfect holiness of God. God is perfectly, completely holy and set apart from us. Like I said, we will never be able to fathom His holiness, but what we do grasp about our Creator should be enough to motivate us to live lives of radical obedience to His Word. In this passage, the angels also declare, “The whole earth is full of His glory.” From the heights of heaven, you can see the end of the earth and know that one day God will return and every competing glory will be struck down and God will make his holiness known in awesome splendor to all of His redeemed. The glory of the Father, His perfect holiness, and the desire to see Him worshipped should be our motivation to go to the ends of the earth. It should drastically change the way we live our lives. This passage was very convicting for me as I read it in a coffee shop weeks back. Yes, I have surrendered these two years of my life to sharing the Gospel in a foreign land, but reading this passage made me examine my reason for answering the call. I have no doubt the Father wants me right where I am and am confident He worked out the “when” as well, but I think back to what exactly motivated me. I think about the burden on my heart for the nations. I want them to come to know Christ. I think about the vast lostness in the country where I’m serving. I want these people to hear the Gospel. I think about my desire to fight every injustice that lives. I want to help these people who are sold into slavery, the people who don’t have a roof over their head or haven’t had a meal in weeks, the children and women neglected and beaten by their drunk father or husband. None of these are bad motives. But what good is it to go to these people, help them, and even share the Gospel with them if the main purpose isn’t the glory of the King of Kings who deserves for every ounce of our day to be lived in praise and worship of His name. Our motivation should be seeing the splendor of the glory of God and being awe-struck by His holiness that is revealed to us in our worship of Him through His Word. This alone should drive us to our knees. This alone can truly break our hearts for the lost…for the wickedness and darkness of this world. This alone should be our reason for sharing the Gospel.

5 months feels more like 5 weeks in this country...

Okay, so I haven’t gotten any better at this obviously. I haven’t actually gotten worse though. It’s been five months again. Time really flies. It seems like just a few weeks ago that I wrote my last post. So much has happened since then though. I left Delhi, went to Pune a few weeks for meetings and such, then finally reached the city G has called me to at the end of November. I got two cameras stolen my first day here. After weeks of house hunting and waiting on the way India does things, we finally moved into our house after Christmas. We spent Christmas day in the slums passing out gifts and telling the story of our Savior’s birth. January came and with that three teams came over from the US, and two weeks of that month was spent in a city up north doing language study. The time we got to spend with the teams was wonderful, and we saw God move in ways we didn’t expect. Much fruit was seen from the efforts of these teams. In February I was so blessed to have an amazing friend/little sister come join our team for the entire month. It was an incredible time, and although I was sick a lot of that month, it was so good to have her here. March flew by as well. From the groups in Jan, two women’s groups were started. Martha is leading one and I’m leading another. Much of March was spent getting things in line for these groups, while doing logistics for a team that came at the end of the month. We had a team from New Orleans here the last week in March. They were focusing on Muslims, and it was a very challenging week. April is now here. We are busy getting back into language while also preparing for many summer volunteers. I have started doing Bible storying in a fishing village among believers there who just aren’t getting fed the Word because they cannot read. God is also doing wonderful things in a girl I have gotten to know. A friend and I shared the Gospel with her in March and on Good Friday, she accepted Christ. She is so in love with JC and I’m so excited to see where the Lord takes our friendship and also excited to see the things He does through this new believer whose love for the Savior is contagious. We are staying busy busy busy, but Praise Him for the work He is doing in this city and the laborers He is raising up both in this country and through teams from the States that He has called to work here for a season. I really want to be more specific about what God is teaching me. I want to get better at this blogging thing. ☺ We’ll see again how it goes. Hopefully, I won’t fail you this time. God Bless…

five months later.

Remember that time when I created a blog and only posted twice in five months? Yeah, I should have warned you guys that I’m not the best at blogs, journals, etc. So, I’ll inform you now, in case you couldn’t tell, I am terrible at updating my blog. I will try my best to work on that though. Well, since my last blog post, I have been to Guatemala, spent two months training in Richmond, and moved to India. Oh and I’ve been in India for almost seven weeks. So, I agree; this blog post is a little overdue. Over the past five months, the Father has taught me so incredibly much. He has been molding and refining and pruning, and He totally has His work cut out for Him. I have had some amazing experiences and some amazing time in the Word, and hopefully, I can share at least some of that within the next few days. I am currently in Delhi but will be moving to Mumbai next week. I have been living with an Indian family for the past four weeks. That has been a challenge of its own, but I’ll go into more detail later…I’m sure. I’m out of my homestay and doing a week of language lessons with a language helper whom I thoroughly enjoy. I should have pretty consistent internet from here on out, so maybe these posts will become more frequent. That’s the goal. Hold me to it. ;)

ruin me.

Over the past few days (or actually weeks), I have really been struggling with discerning God’s will. Undoubtedly this is not the first time I’ve struggled with this, nor will it be the last. I have sought advice from several people, but more than anything, I have just tried to be still and let HIM speak to me. A friend and I have had many conversations about how God doesn’t try to hide His will from us. He simply wants to reveal His plan for our lives as we draw near to Him and meditate upon His Word. If we are striving daily to offer our bodies as living sacrifices, in complete surrender to Him, the Holy Spirit will guide us. That is so comforting. Waiting and trusting aren’t always the easiest, but how hopeful to know that our reliance is in the Faithful, Creator God.

My prayer through this time has been that I would completely die to myself...that my heart would have no will, no desire of its own...that my decision would be based solely upon where His Spirit is leading me and not based on my wants....and that my heart would be filled with the desire to please Him, not others. It's been really neat to just slow down and seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit and then watch how He proves faithful with every step. Jeff Johnson’s song, Ruin Me, has been such an encouragement to me these past few days. The lyrics just seemed to echo my prayers and are so powerful! Here they are:

Woe to me I am unclean
A sinner found in Your presence
I see you seated on Your throne
Exalted, Your Glory surrounds You

Now the plans that I have made
Fail to compare when I see your glory

Ruin my life the plans I have made
Ruin desires for my own selfish gain
Destroy the idols that have taken Your place
'Till its You alone I live for,
You alone I live for. (repeat)

Holy Holy is the Lord Almighty
Holy is the Lord!

Here's the link to the video. It's amazing! Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFhMEcKkgQc

i am ready.

Okay. Here I go...diving into the wonderful world of blogging.  As I sat outside today, so many things were going through my mind. One was the fact that I needed to get this blog going, but as I sat pondering the journey that is ahead of me, I could only think "I am ready." Yes, the time is drawing near. Yes, it is going to be challenging. But I am ready. I am ready to see the many things God has in store. I am ready for my faith to continually be tested and refined.  I am ready to rest beneath the shelter of my Savior's wings, girded in His armor as Satan increasingly attacks.  I am ready to be exhausted after trekking through a village sharing the sweet redemption story with people who have never heard.  I am ready to suffer daily for the sake of His name.  I am ready to wake up each morning knowing that the task before me is a God-sized task and that I must depend wholly on Him.  I am ready to experience a new culture, learn a new language, and teach someone my language.  I am so ready for this amazing journey....not just because it's another trip, but because it's another opportunity to carry the Holy Spirit into a place of utter darkness.  It's all for His glory. And He is so worth it.  It truly is my desire to see the nations worship the one True God!
May God break our hearts for the worship of idols. And may we humbly display His love through these earthly bodies He's given us.