Over the past few days (or actually weeks), I have really been struggling with discerning God’s will. Undoubtedly this is not the first time I’ve struggled with this, nor will it be the last. I have sought advice from several people, but more than anything, I have just tried to be still and let HIM speak to me. A friend and I have had many conversations about how God doesn’t try to hide His will from us. He simply wants to reveal His plan for our lives as we draw near to Him and meditate upon His Word. If we are striving daily to offer our bodies as living sacrifices, in complete surrender to Him, the Holy Spirit will guide us. That is so comforting. Waiting and trusting aren’t always the easiest, but how hopeful to know that our reliance is in the Faithful, Creator God.
My prayer through this time has been that I would completely die to myself...that my heart would have no will, no desire of its own...that my decision would be based solely upon where His Spirit is leading me and not based on my wants....and that my heart would be filled with the desire to please Him, not others. It's been really neat to just slow down and seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit and then watch how He proves faithful with every step. Jeff Johnson’s song, Ruin Me, has been such an encouragement to me these past few days. The lyrics just seemed to echo my prayers and are so powerful! Here they are:
Woe to me I am unclean
A sinner found in Your presence
I see you seated on Your throne
Exalted, Your Glory surrounds You
Now the plans that I have made
Fail to compare when I see your glory
Ruin my life the plans I have made
Ruin desires for my own selfish gain
Destroy the idols that have taken Your place
'Till its You alone I live for,
You alone I live for. (repeat)
Holy Holy is the Lord Almighty
Holy is the Lord!
Here's the link to the video. It's amazing! Enjoy.
Okay. Here I go...diving into the wonderful world of blogging. As I sat outside today, so many things were going through my mind. One was the fact that I needed to get this blog going, but as I sat pondering the journey that is ahead of me, I could only think "I am ready." Yes, the time is drawing near. Yes, it is going to be challenging. But I am ready. I am ready to see the many things God has in store. I am ready for my faith to continually be tested and refined. I am ready to rest beneath the shelter of my Savior's wings, girded in His armor as Satan increasingly attacks. I am ready to be exhausted after trekking through a village sharing the sweet redemption story with people who have never heard. I am ready to suffer daily for the sake of His name. I am ready to wake up each morning knowing that the task before me is a God-sized task and that I must depend wholly on Him. I am ready to experience a new culture, learn a new language, and teach someone my language. I am so ready for this amazing journey....not just because it's another trip, but because it's another opportunity to carry the Holy Spirit into a place of utter darkness. It's all for His glory. And He is so worth it. It truly is my desire to see the nations worship the one True God!
May God break our hearts for the worship of idols. And may we humbly display His love through these earthly bodies He's given us.
